Hey {{first_name}},
This week I flew to Madrid to visit a friend.
Staying in a place with people I'd never met, in a country I've barely been to, in a city that's big, busy and loud.
If you've got IBS, you're probably already feeling a little stressed just reading that. I would have been, a few years ago.
One purpose of the trip was to see my friend and hang out. But there was another reason underneath it. I wanted to test myself.
I talk a lot about stress and IBS, and how travel is so often the thing that sets it all off. But here's something I've learned going from being too afraid to leave the house to being comfortable travelling almost anywhere. It isn't a one-time fix.
If you let it, fear will try to take control. It'll try to keep you frozen exactly where you are and it does it with everything, whether that's food, sport, or travel.
The last few months I've basically been at home, working, and that's it. I'd barely travelled anywhere and I could feel it creeping back in. That little flicker of stress at the mere thought of going somewhere. The exact feeling I thought I'd left behind.
So I booked the trip. Something well outside my comfort zone and completely different to the life I'd been living.
Here's what that did for me.
It's been stressful at times, I won't pretend otherwise. But because I've done this before, I had a calmness in situations that used to absolutely terrify me. Living with people I don't know, eating food I hadn't planned for and trying to navigate public transport. Being a long way from anything familiar, but instead of spiralling, I handled it.
It also reminded me of something I have to keep relearning. I can travel. I can do these things. My gut does not get to decide whether I do them or not.
Why it works
Confidence with IBS isn't a thing you earn once and keep forever. It's more like fitness. You don't go to the gym for three years, get strong, and then never train again expecting to stay that way. You have to keep topping it up.
Every time you push slightly past your comfort zone and come out the other side fine, you're reinforcing the evidence that you can cope and every time you avoid something out of fear, you're quietly teaching your brain that the fear was right to keep you home.
The avoidance feels safe in the moment. That's the trap. But it shrinks your world a little more each time, until one day the thought of a short trip feels enormous.
This week's practical tip
Pick one thing this week that's slightly outside your comfort zone and do it on purpose.
It does not have to be big. When I was at my worst and terrified to leave the house, mine was a ten minute walk around the block. That was the whole challenge. Then it became a longer walk. Then a short trip. Then, eventually, a flight to another country.
Start wherever you actually are, not where you think you should be. The point isn't the size of the step. The point is that you keep taking them, because that's how the confidence stays topped up.
This week's mindset
Pushing yourself can feel more uncomfortable than staying still. Staying still feels safe. But from experience, continuously reinforcing what you're capable of is the most calming, stress-free thing you can do for your gut in the long run.
I feel a confidence now that I'd started to feel slipping a few days ago. And I know that when I get home, mentally I'll be in a stronger position than when I left.
Fear wants you frozen. Keep moving, even a little, and it never gets the chance.
See you next week.
Zak